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You know you have a weird story about what you’ve caught a co-worker doing at the office instead of working.

Maybe you know someone who spent the better part of an afternoon looking for a mail-order bride.

Maybe you know someone who flies drones around the office when they’re bored.

The point is you know how others like to waste time at work, and you know what causes you to lose focus.

And guess what?

HR knows what causes you to lose focus, too.

They know how much you use your cellphone at work.

They also know how much you wander the Internet, use social media, and gossip.

And they’ve heard the stories about you* specifically.

*Okay, time out for a second. You should know that the examples below are pretty wild. Maybe you haven’t done anything like this, but people actually have. Employers shared the stories with us.*

They know about the time you napped on the CEOs couch because you thought no one was around.

And that time you used the bathroom sink to take a sponge bath? Yeah, HR knows.

They didn’t know about that time you were texting dirty pictures to people in the office…until now. Sorry.

Remember when you blocked out your calendar to go tanning? Not only did HR hear about that, but they’ve been telling people outside of the company!

By the way, I accidentally told someone in HR about the time you drank vodka and watched Netflix at your desk…but I said it was a dare so I think you’re OK.

It’s okay to get distracted at work. Everyone does.

Just figure out how to give in to those little distractions every once in a while so they don’t take over your day.

Reward yourself for completing a task with two minutes on Tumblr.

And try to make sure two minutes STAYS two minutes.

Don’t get lost out there.

One last thing: No more printing out pictures of animals, naming them after co-workers, and hanging them up around the office.

We all appreciate it but… it’s just bizarre.

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